I used to make fun of the “disappearing” couple.  You know, that couple that used to hang out all night at the bar or the theatre with their friends. There they were, the life of the party. Inevitably, it seemed, egg would meet sperm and that couple would gradually disappear—especially after baby made three.  I could never understand the social black hole of parenthood. On the rare occasion you were able to connect to the new parent-types, the conversation would always derail into talk of fevers, rashes, and poop. 
 
But then my daughter Meghan was born.  “Meggie” arrived on August 15, 2007, changing my life, and my perspective, forever.  I can’t explain it.  I really just love being with her.  I love watching her see everything for the first time, both of us full of wonderment.  And I can’t wait for her to read “Chronicles of Narnia” or see Spirited Away or dive into my collection of graphic novels (well, when she’s old enough). 
 
Obviously, I had no idea what a shift my life would undergo after our daughter was born.  The idea that there is someone completely dependent on you is a daunting thought.  My wife has a ton of patience and strength for the baby and for me.  Good thing, too, since, I admit, I had some trouble adjusting.
 
The things that I used to take for granted, like us spontaneously going out with friends for hours-long sushi sessions at Asiana or going to the Esquire Theater for a late night movie, well, you can forget it!

I love my daughter, and I really do enjoy spending a quiet evening at home with her and my wife, but it’s rare to have a “date night” with just us. Basically, when you see my wife Jan and me around the Queen City sans child, we’ve already made a big investment of both time and money: 

*It’s an average ten bucks an hour for the baby sitter.  (We’re afraid to leave the baby alone with someone who’d take less.)

*Add a half-hour to the average evening just orientating the baby sitter to the baby, and vice versa.  (Best time to get acquainted with the baby - when she’s asleep.  The worst time to get acquainted with the baby - when we want her to go to sleep.)

*Add another hour just to shower and get ready (since you don’t exactly do that while holding an infant).

*And of course, now you have a curfew - gotta be home at a certain time so the babysitter doesn’t ground you.

In the end, though, an hour or two lost from a night on the town is a miniscule sacrifice for the rewards. Family is an amazing experience that I would not trade for anything however, I would say that Jan and I are a lot more selective about our entertainment choices on the few nights that we are free to go out. We have to measure things by the uniqueness of the experience, affordability, and whether or not we’ll be around good friends (seeing as how we could always just watch a movie on cable).  In fact, we’re getting pretty good at planning our social adventures.  I’m impressed with our date nights.  The top three since we’ve had the baby have been:
 
*Seeing the preview performance of Radio Golf at Ensemble Theatre, followed by a great night of wining and dining at Lavomatic.

*A great wedding reception we went to at the Carmargo Club, then splitting an appetizer and martini at Boca late night.

*Spending a Tuesday evening with friends at Pigall’s for a delicious four-course meal with wine pairing (we do it up right!).

We’re proving that the “disappearing couple” is more myth than reality, and I have a feeling my wife is going to turn the idea of a “soccer mom” on its head:  the lady is going to break the mold.  Since I became Meggie’s dad, I’ve realized that being a parent isn’t really about a loss of control or freedom.  We’re just learning how to make our own adventures one date—and one diaper—at a time.

At Know Theatre, a company I founded over ten years ago, we’ve been getting ready for our season opener, Reefer Madness:The Musical.  It’s a hilarious political satire on the 1930s propaganda film denouncing marijuana. Marijuana is often called a “gateway” drug that, combined with peer pressure, leads to the use of other drugs.  While our production does not promote drug use whatsoever, lately I have been thinking that Know Theatre is sort of like the positive version of marijuana: we’re a “gateway” arts experience.  Try Know Theatre of Cincinnati a few times and you might get a taste for other arts organizations like Ensemble Theatre and Playhouse in the Park.  Try Buddha Khan and you might want to try Jean Ro’s or Morton’s.  Try the Weston Art Gallery and you might want to try the Contemporary Arts Center.
 
I’m sorry to find so perfect a comparison between the non-profit arts and activities that aren’t exactly condoned by the federal government.  However, the parallel is multi-layered:  just as we act as a “gateway,” we also spread our message through peer pressure.  We want to open audiences to a larger role – to be the cavalry, championing the arts and applying pressuring on their friends to try it as well.
 
Arts organizations need audiences to apply the peer pressure. We need those who already understand the power of a well produced play or compelling piece of art to persuade, coerce, and compel their friends and family to come downtown and to Over-the-Rhine.  Some public service announcements tout the likelihood that spending money on illegal activities is similar to giving handouts to terrorists.  Well, a dollar spent on the arts here in Cincinnati has the same ripple-effect (without the terrorism) and with it, a tremendous local impact. The economic impact that the arts in total bring to the city is greater than that of our sports teams.

Whether encouraging people to come to the Gateway Quarter for shopping and art galleries or to Fountain Square for dinner and cocktails, we need to persuade more people to sample, and become addicted to our center city.  Your peer pressure on this front is the complete opposite of the negative social pressure surrounding drug-culture.  You aren’t telling people to hurt themselves in order to feel good, you’re telling people to help themselves by supporting the gateways of Cincinnati culture. 
 
So tell ‘em, “Have you been to a show lately?” “Have you seen downtown lately?” Check out the burgeoning arts districts.  The lights are on later.  The food is great.  The entertainment rocks.  The drinks keep flowing.  Get your asses down here.

We need to be ambassadors for our city, and the first line of offense is made up of the people who live and work at the center of it all.  Be subversive, be edgy, be a bright-eyed believer—be whatever it is that makes you want to fight the good fight, and you will always be a dealer of the “good stuff” in Cincinnati.